ok i lied. one more post. because not too many people read this and because no one likes a bitchy person on facebook, i'm just going to put 3 questions that i am sick of being asked. and i can do this because i'm pregnant. if you've asked me these questions, don't feel bad (well, do but only for like a minute). if you haven't asked them, don't. i'm also putting how i would like to respond to people instead of being polite.

1. "have you thought about adoption?" have you thought about what would happen if i punched you in the face? just kidding, but really since i'm almost 31 and have a college degree and have lived in another country, i think i can do a better job than those girls on "teen mom". in other words, i'm keeping MY baby, so shut up.

2. "why didn't you use birth control?" really? are you really asking me that? because the answer to that question will accomplish so much.

3. "are you sure, maybe in some subconscious part of your brain, you didn't sort of want to be pregnant?" and then this is when i have to decide between breaking their arm or poking out their eyes.

so anyway, the moral of the story is think before you ask a pregnant woman stupid questions.

big news

well, i've reached the end of my mexican adventures -- rather abruptly. this will probably be my last post on this blog, and it's simply for informational purposes.

most of you probably know by now that i'm pregnant. 20 weeks today -- exactly halfway through the pregnancy. it's a super long story which includes an almost shotgun wedding. things fell apart in a matter of days, and my boyfriend decided he didn't want to be with me anymore. my mom came down to mexico and helped me pack my things and move back to the states. i'm living in arkansas again and trying not to get overwhelmed at the thought of being a single mother. i haven't heard from my exboyfriend in two months, and i have no idea if i'll ever hear from him again.

so that's the short version of the story. i should find out in a few days if my baby is a girl or a boy. i'm due on july 12th.

so yeah, my life is pretty different now, and i guess my mexican adventures are over. here's to a new set of adventures. . .

well, here i am again being a bad blogger. yes, a lot has happened since i last wrote. let’s see. . . in june, my mom and sister came to visit and we took a little trip around mexico. we went down to queretero, which is where a lot events of mexican independence took place – I don’t remember them all now – as well as the place where maximillian (the austrian emporeror) was executed. we also visited teotihuacan, the pyramids outside of mexico city. very cool. we climbed to the top of the pyramid of the sun, and i got interviewed by some mexican high schoolers looking for someone to interview in english. probably a school assignment. on our way back, we stopped in san miguel de allende – my third time there. i think my mom and my sister really enjoyed their time here.

the rest of the summer was pretty uneventful, with the exception that i procured another job, which makes three now. this job is at a bilingual high school. i’m teaching a u.s. history class to seniors and a social sciences class to freshmen in english. i feel pretty unprepared for the social sciences class, but I think i’m managing to fool my students. there are 30 students in that class, and they can never manage to be quiet for more than a minute at a time, which sometimes drives me crazy. here i am teaching high school when i decided 10 years ago that i really didn’t want to be a high school teacher. a lot of my time now is spent driving between my three different schools. amazingly, I haven’t yet gone to the wrong school, even though my schedule is pretty crazy. i do like teaching the u.s. history class, although i also feel at a loss, even though i majored in history in college. it’s like history on crack, since it’s only one semester. right now, we are finishing up the civil war, and i have a little over a month left. i am going to have to speed through the rest of the 19^th and 20^th centuries. “ok, we won ww1, we had a great depression, we won ww2, there was a war in korea, the beatles came to america, there were the hippies, we lost vietnam, reagan got shot, bill clinton screwed an intern, the twin towers got blown up, and we elected a black president.” There you go.

in september, i drove up to san antonio, texas for my friends, rex and lee’s wedding, which was really great. it was so fun to see old friends, and i had more fun at their wedding than i’ve had at any wedding, i think. i also got a flat tire, but thankfully, my friends doug and dalton and some stranger walking by managed to change it for me.

also in september, i moved out of my cousins’ house and into a little apartment. it’s really small and not the best apartment in the world, but it’s nice to have my own place and feel like an adult again.

i think those are the highlights of the last five months. i am really looking forward to going home to see my family for christmas. and i have to renew my visa again soon, as it’s going to expire in cecember.

no school today, since it is dia de los muertos (day of the dead), so i need to go run some errands. Hope everyone is doing well. look for another post from me in the next 6 months. . . adios!

i'm thinking about writing a new blog soon. . .

wow. i am the world's worst blogger. over 2 months since my last update. i have now been in mexico about 7 and a half months. it's hard to believe that it's been that long. i will be here at least until the end of the year, which makes this the halfway point. i am considering the possibility of staying thru next spring. my spanish is actually progressing, but i'm not sure it will be where i want it to be by the end of 2010. who knows though? i am just not sure yet. it is difficult to decide because some moments, i feel pretty comfortable in mexico and others, i very much miss my life in the states. living the states, i felt totally confident, understanding how my own culture works. but here, many times, i feel like i don't know how to act. the level of confidence i have is certainly different. i do feel though that i am finally starting to get my footing here in mexico.

the hardest part for me here in mexico has been adapting to the cultural double standard that exists for men and women. my younger male cousins can go out on the weekends and stay out all night, but if i come in at 1:30, or thereabouts, i might get a stern look of disapproval. it has been hard to give up my independence to live in a house with more or less "rules". i don't necessarily have a curfew, but i do get lots of questions about everything i do.

part of the reason that is frustrating is that i just turned 30 last month. the weeks leading up to turning 30 were strange. but i did have a nice big party with lots of people, including lots of people i didn't know, but i really didn't care. i guess actually being 30 is not so bad. maybe the idea of turning 30 is worse than actually turning 30.

last month, i went with my cousins a few other friends out to la pesca, tamaulipas for a fishing trip. we had lots of fun. la pesca is on the gulf coast, and we did get out to the beach one afternoon, although it was pretty windy. the rest of the time, we fished on the river -- rio soto la marina -- grilled out in the evenings. the first day, only my cousin charlie caught a few fish, but the next day, we went out with a guide who showed us a good spot for fishing, and we caught quite a few. i myself caught about six, but only one was big enough to keep. i hadn't been fishing in years, and i had a really great time.

my classes are going pretty well. we've had a change in directors at berlitz, so that has been interesting, especially since the new director doesn't speak english, but i am learning to communicate with her. she has added quite a few more classes and i am starting to fill out my schedule, although i still have more free time on my hands than i would like. the semester has ended at the university where i have been teaching. we simply lack the final exam which is next week and then we are out for the summer. to be honest, i wish i could teach a summer course or something. i have too much free time as it is. i could try to add another school, but it is difficult with my schedule; plus i have to submit more paperwork to the immigration office every time i add a new employer. anyway, as far as i know i will have this same job at the university when school resumes in the fall. at the end of our last class, i told my students how much i enjoyed teaching them (despite the fact that they are kind of lazy and whiny and never want to do any work) and then i started crying! i felt silly, but they were really sweet and we took a picture of the whole class. i'll try to post it soon.

other than that, things are not too exciting. i've lost some weight in the last few months. i've been working out on a pretty regular basis, although the last few weeks, i haven't been as careful as i should be about what i eat. it can be hard in a country where everyone is encouraging you constantly eat more. i do not understand how mexican girls can be so skinny.

anyway, i guess that's all for now. i think my mom and sister are coming for a visit next month, which should be nice. and hopefully i will get to make a trip into texas in the next month or so. i really need to do some shopping.

well, i guess i'll see you all in another few months. . . hasta luego.

in case you were wondering, i am still alive and well in mexico. i'm just a really bad blogger.

ok, here's the short version of my life right now. yes, i finally got my visa, on the last day the immigration office was open before closing for christmas. it took some haggling with the lady at immigration to give me the visa that day. as expected, the visa wasn't ready when they said it would be, but my boss very respectfully argued with the lady until she agreed to have it ready by that afternoon. i was really happy. so i was able to spend christmas with my family in the states, via a 19 hour bus from mcallen, tx to little rock. 19 hour bus rides are not actually as bad as they sound. after spending 10 days with my family and adorable niece and nephew, i drove my car down to texas where i met my cousins, who were spending christmas with other cousins who live in texas, and we caravanned back to mexico together.

so i started teaching for berlitz in january. it's going well, although they are not able to give me the amount of hours i would like. i've also started teaching a course at a small catholic university. it's a prep course for the TOEFL test, which is an english language test for non-native speakers. i really like my students there, but i'm struggling to not make all the grammar so boring.

other things are going well, although there are many days when living in mexico kind of drives me crazy. having my car down here is nice. and i've pretty much become accustomed the mexican way of driving, which is to say a little crazy. also, my cousin backed into the driver's side door of my car one sunday morning, so i'm dealing with mexican insurance. they don't make my car in mexico (toyota echo), even though saltillo is the detroit of mexico, so they are going to have to order a new door from the states.

i'm sorry this has taken so long for me to update. next time i'll have some more insights on frustrations and appreciations of mexican culture.

a haircut, corn, iglesia bautista, and a visa

ok don't faint. i'm updating again! this one won't be as long as the last one, i promise. really not too much has happened since the last time i updated. ok well i did get my hair all chopped off. most of you will recall that i had hair almost down to my waist and on a bit of a whim, i got it cut to just about an inch below my ears. i say a bit of a whim because i'd been thinking about doing this in january, but last friday, my cousin was going to get his hair cut and asked if i'd like to get mine cut as well. so i decided to do it right then. i was able to donate my hair to a charity that makes wigs for cancer patients. i didn't think they'd be interested in a gringa's hair, but i guess it's kind of desirable. the lady asked if it was my natural color and then she looked really impressed (i've learned to read body language and facial expressions pretty well). i'm supposed to get some kind of certificate in the mail for my donation.

i like my hair. . . on some days. it was a pretty drastic change, but i've had this haircut before, about 5 and a half years ago. the lady did cut it about an inch and a half shorter than i wanted. i may or may not have quoted the 23rd psalm in my head while she was cutting my hair. this is the same salon where i got a manicure for my cousin's wedding and the lady cut my finger, and it bled for 10 minutes. anyway, i do like my hair, but it's going to take some time to for me to get used to it as well as figure out the best way to fix it.

ok, enough about my hair. i'd like to talk to you about corn. i am convinced that mexico is obsessed with corn. last weekend, i went with coco to a festival for the virgin of guadalupe. it was her birthday or something. (the virgin's, not coco's) anyway, there was a big festival with all kinds of vendors. coco and i sat down for some yummy chicken tamales and champurrado. champurrado is a hot chocolate drink made with bits of corn dough. don't ask. it's very thick, and let me just say that it was my first and hopefully my last time to drink it. i could only drink about half of it. this is not the only strange food item in which corn makes an appearance in mexico. i have also had corn on pizza -- not terrible, but not something i want to make a habit out of. another corn dish is elote. elote comes in two forms (or maybe more that i don't know about). one is basically just roasted corn on the cob. the other is roasted corn kernals served in a cup or a styrofoam dish. you can have either served with a variety of toppings -- chili powder, mayonnaise, sour cream, cheese, etc. i've had the corn on the cob version, but the corn in a cup with all of the above toppings is basically like a corn soup with a side of heart attack. needless to say, i prefer the corn on the cob variety with just a bit of chili powder and maybe some lime juice. anyway, that's what i think about corn. i mean corn has its place, but not in my hot chocolate and not with mayonnaise.

this sunday, i went to a spanish baptist church. i was a little nervous, because my spanish is still pretty low. but everyone was really friendly and i was able to converse more or less with the people i met. the pastor's wife asked me where i learned spanish and when i told her here in mexico, she was a little bit shocked that i had only been here two months. don't be too impressed because i still have a very long way to go. i did understand about 2/3 of the sermon which made me pretty happy. i find that it's much easier for me to understand something when i already know the context of a conversation. i can focus on how the words fit into that context. this particular sunday was a special service and there was lunch afterwards -- tacos -- yum. it was also someone's birthday and they brought out a cake and sang a birthday song -- very different from the one we know. it is a tradition in mexico for the birthday person (girl, in this case) to take the first bite of out of the cake with just her mouth, no hands, forks, etc. it is also a tradition for everyone else to shove the birthday person's face into the cake, which these good church-going people did with relish. anyway, it was fun to watch. i do think i'll go back to this church. my spanish can only improve, right?

well, finally i am kind of on pins and needles, waiting for this visa. i should hear something by tomorrow or friday. as far as everyone can tell, it really should be finished by then, but i'll believe when i'm holding it in my hands. if it does come this week, that means i should get to go back to the states to be with my family for christmas. my cousins are driving up to mcallen, texas (which is on the border) to do some christmas shopping. i'm going with them, so i can hop on a 19 hour bus to little rock, arkansas, where i will visit with my dad and grandma and pick up my car. then i'm going to drive up to springdale, ar to see the rest of my family and spend christmas with them. the plan is to drive my car back to mexico. it's about a two day drive, but it will make my life so much easier to have a car down here. anyway, all of this is contingent upon whether or not i get my visa this week. if it doesn't come this week, i'll be staying in mexico for christmas, which is ok, but i'd really like to go home and see my family. once i return at the beginning of the year, i will be able to start working. i don't need to tell you how ready i am for this.

anyway, i'll let you know what happens. hope everyone is having a wonderful christmas season.