i'm thinking about writing a new blog soon. . .

wow. i am the world's worst blogger. over 2 months since my last update. i have now been in mexico about 7 and a half months. it's hard to believe that it's been that long. i will be here at least until the end of the year, which makes this the halfway point. i am considering the possibility of staying thru next spring. my spanish is actually progressing, but i'm not sure it will be where i want it to be by the end of 2010. who knows though? i am just not sure yet. it is difficult to decide because some moments, i feel pretty comfortable in mexico and others, i very much miss my life in the states. living the states, i felt totally confident, understanding how my own culture works. but here, many times, i feel like i don't know how to act. the level of confidence i have is certainly different. i do feel though that i am finally starting to get my footing here in mexico.

the hardest part for me here in mexico has been adapting to the cultural double standard that exists for men and women. my younger male cousins can go out on the weekends and stay out all night, but if i come in at 1:30, or thereabouts, i might get a stern look of disapproval. it has been hard to give up my independence to live in a house with more or less "rules". i don't necessarily have a curfew, but i do get lots of questions about everything i do.

part of the reason that is frustrating is that i just turned 30 last month. the weeks leading up to turning 30 were strange. but i did have a nice big party with lots of people, including lots of people i didn't know, but i really didn't care. i guess actually being 30 is not so bad. maybe the idea of turning 30 is worse than actually turning 30.

last month, i went with my cousins a few other friends out to la pesca, tamaulipas for a fishing trip. we had lots of fun. la pesca is on the gulf coast, and we did get out to the beach one afternoon, although it was pretty windy. the rest of the time, we fished on the river -- rio soto la marina -- grilled out in the evenings. the first day, only my cousin charlie caught a few fish, but the next day, we went out with a guide who showed us a good spot for fishing, and we caught quite a few. i myself caught about six, but only one was big enough to keep. i hadn't been fishing in years, and i had a really great time.

my classes are going pretty well. we've had a change in directors at berlitz, so that has been interesting, especially since the new director doesn't speak english, but i am learning to communicate with her. she has added quite a few more classes and i am starting to fill out my schedule, although i still have more free time on my hands than i would like. the semester has ended at the university where i have been teaching. we simply lack the final exam which is next week and then we are out for the summer. to be honest, i wish i could teach a summer course or something. i have too much free time as it is. i could try to add another school, but it is difficult with my schedule; plus i have to submit more paperwork to the immigration office every time i add a new employer. anyway, as far as i know i will have this same job at the university when school resumes in the fall. at the end of our last class, i told my students how much i enjoyed teaching them (despite the fact that they are kind of lazy and whiny and never want to do any work) and then i started crying! i felt silly, but they were really sweet and we took a picture of the whole class. i'll try to post it soon.

other than that, things are not too exciting. i've lost some weight in the last few months. i've been working out on a pretty regular basis, although the last few weeks, i haven't been as careful as i should be about what i eat. it can be hard in a country where everyone is encouraging you constantly eat more. i do not understand how mexican girls can be so skinny.

anyway, i guess that's all for now. i think my mom and sister are coming for a visit next month, which should be nice. and hopefully i will get to make a trip into texas in the next month or so. i really need to do some shopping.

well, i guess i'll see you all in another few months. . . hasta luego.

in case you were wondering, i am still alive and well in mexico. i'm just a really bad blogger.

ok, here's the short version of my life right now. yes, i finally got my visa, on the last day the immigration office was open before closing for christmas. it took some haggling with the lady at immigration to give me the visa that day. as expected, the visa wasn't ready when they said it would be, but my boss very respectfully argued with the lady until she agreed to have it ready by that afternoon. i was really happy. so i was able to spend christmas with my family in the states, via a 19 hour bus from mcallen, tx to little rock. 19 hour bus rides are not actually as bad as they sound. after spending 10 days with my family and adorable niece and nephew, i drove my car down to texas where i met my cousins, who were spending christmas with other cousins who live in texas, and we caravanned back to mexico together.

so i started teaching for berlitz in january. it's going well, although they are not able to give me the amount of hours i would like. i've also started teaching a course at a small catholic university. it's a prep course for the TOEFL test, which is an english language test for non-native speakers. i really like my students there, but i'm struggling to not make all the grammar so boring.

other things are going well, although there are many days when living in mexico kind of drives me crazy. having my car down here is nice. and i've pretty much become accustomed the mexican way of driving, which is to say a little crazy. also, my cousin backed into the driver's side door of my car one sunday morning, so i'm dealing with mexican insurance. they don't make my car in mexico (toyota echo), even though saltillo is the detroit of mexico, so they are going to have to order a new door from the states.

i'm sorry this has taken so long for me to update. next time i'll have some more insights on frustrations and appreciations of mexican culture.

a haircut, corn, iglesia bautista, and a visa

ok don't faint. i'm updating again! this one won't be as long as the last one, i promise. really not too much has happened since the last time i updated. ok well i did get my hair all chopped off. most of you will recall that i had hair almost down to my waist and on a bit of a whim, i got it cut to just about an inch below my ears. i say a bit of a whim because i'd been thinking about doing this in january, but last friday, my cousin was going to get his hair cut and asked if i'd like to get mine cut as well. so i decided to do it right then. i was able to donate my hair to a charity that makes wigs for cancer patients. i didn't think they'd be interested in a gringa's hair, but i guess it's kind of desirable. the lady asked if it was my natural color and then she looked really impressed (i've learned to read body language and facial expressions pretty well). i'm supposed to get some kind of certificate in the mail for my donation.

i like my hair. . . on some days. it was a pretty drastic change, but i've had this haircut before, about 5 and a half years ago. the lady did cut it about an inch and a half shorter than i wanted. i may or may not have quoted the 23rd psalm in my head while she was cutting my hair. this is the same salon where i got a manicure for my cousin's wedding and the lady cut my finger, and it bled for 10 minutes. anyway, i do like my hair, but it's going to take some time to for me to get used to it as well as figure out the best way to fix it.

ok, enough about my hair. i'd like to talk to you about corn. i am convinced that mexico is obsessed with corn. last weekend, i went with coco to a festival for the virgin of guadalupe. it was her birthday or something. (the virgin's, not coco's) anyway, there was a big festival with all kinds of vendors. coco and i sat down for some yummy chicken tamales and champurrado. champurrado is a hot chocolate drink made with bits of corn dough. don't ask. it's very thick, and let me just say that it was my first and hopefully my last time to drink it. i could only drink about half of it. this is not the only strange food item in which corn makes an appearance in mexico. i have also had corn on pizza -- not terrible, but not something i want to make a habit out of. another corn dish is elote. elote comes in two forms (or maybe more that i don't know about). one is basically just roasted corn on the cob. the other is roasted corn kernals served in a cup or a styrofoam dish. you can have either served with a variety of toppings -- chili powder, mayonnaise, sour cream, cheese, etc. i've had the corn on the cob version, but the corn in a cup with all of the above toppings is basically like a corn soup with a side of heart attack. needless to say, i prefer the corn on the cob variety with just a bit of chili powder and maybe some lime juice. anyway, that's what i think about corn. i mean corn has its place, but not in my hot chocolate and not with mayonnaise.

this sunday, i went to a spanish baptist church. i was a little nervous, because my spanish is still pretty low. but everyone was really friendly and i was able to converse more or less with the people i met. the pastor's wife asked me where i learned spanish and when i told her here in mexico, she was a little bit shocked that i had only been here two months. don't be too impressed because i still have a very long way to go. i did understand about 2/3 of the sermon which made me pretty happy. i find that it's much easier for me to understand something when i already know the context of a conversation. i can focus on how the words fit into that context. this particular sunday was a special service and there was lunch afterwards -- tacos -- yum. it was also someone's birthday and they brought out a cake and sang a birthday song -- very different from the one we know. it is a tradition in mexico for the birthday person (girl, in this case) to take the first bite of out of the cake with just her mouth, no hands, forks, etc. it is also a tradition for everyone else to shove the birthday person's face into the cake, which these good church-going people did with relish. anyway, it was fun to watch. i do think i'll go back to this church. my spanish can only improve, right?

well, finally i am kind of on pins and needles, waiting for this visa. i should hear something by tomorrow or friday. as far as everyone can tell, it really should be finished by then, but i'll believe when i'm holding it in my hands. if it does come this week, that means i should get to go back to the states to be with my family for christmas. my cousins are driving up to mcallen, texas (which is on the border) to do some christmas shopping. i'm going with them, so i can hop on a 19 hour bus to little rock, arkansas, where i will visit with my dad and grandma and pick up my car. then i'm going to drive up to springdale, ar to see the rest of my family and spend christmas with them. the plan is to drive my car back to mexico. it's about a two day drive, but it will make my life so much easier to have a car down here. anyway, all of this is contingent upon whether or not i get my visa this week. if it doesn't come this week, i'll be staying in mexico for christmas, which is ok, but i'd really like to go home and see my family. once i return at the beginning of the year, i will be able to start working. i don't need to tell you how ready i am for this.

anyway, i'll let you know what happens. hope everyone is having a wonderful christmas season.

mexican vacay and visa news

i have been really lax about this blog. my apologies. let's see if i can't catch you up on everything. the last two weeks have been kind of a whirlwind. my grandma and my aunt teresa came down to visit for my cousin jessica's wedding. it was so great to have them here. the wedding was really a trip. the ceremony was in the almost 300 year old saltillo cathedral (scroll down for a pic). apparently, they schedule weddings back to back because we (including the bridal party) were all waiting outside for the previous wedding to finish so we could get in.

the ceremony itself was pretty boring. it was in spanish and i didn't understand most of it. it was my first catholic wedding and there was alot of standing up and sitting back down. i really had no idea when to stand, and it seemed like the rest of the congregation didn't really know either. half of the congregation would stand up and then sit back down again realizing their error. the one amusing part of the ceremony was that a bum had wandered into the church and was just quietly hanging out at the front. he was trying to talk to the flower girl who seemed to get upset. her father picked her up and took her all the way around to the back of the church and up the other side. apparently, she had forgotten her flowers, so the bum walked across the front of the church (behind the bride and groom, but in front of the congregation, so we all saw him) and handed her the flowers. it was pretty amusing.

the reception was something completely different. after a nice dinner, the dancing started and continued til 5:30 am. and it wasn't just normal dancing. apparently, at mexican wedding receptions, it is very common to have all kinds of props for the guests -- hats, oversized sunglasses, etc., etc. i wish i could say i took pictures, but i was just having too much fun.

the day after the wedding, i left with my grandmother and aunt teresa for a little trip around central and western mexico. i wasn't even sure if i was going to go until the day before -- nothing like a last minute vacation. i was afraid to leave because i thought i needed to be here in case berlitz was ready to start the process for my work visa. everyone encouraged me to go and it's a good thing i did because nothing happened in the 11 days i was gone. and i had a really great time. we went to san miguel de allende -- an upscale colonial artist town filled with americans and europeans. i had been there once before and now i can safely say i don't really need to go back. my grandmother had to go home after several days, so i continued on with my aunt. we went to the city of guadalajara and stayed in a 399 year old hotel. it's been open since 1610. we happened to be there on an evening when they have lots of traditional dancing and a mariachi band, which was alot of fun to watch. there are alot of very spanish looking plazas in guadalajara, which we spent time wandering around. we also went to the largest market in latin america -- mercado san juan de dios. they had just about everything there -- jewelry, toys, pottery, cds (which were sold for about a dollar, since they were all burned cds -- black market, anyone? i may or may not have bought one. . .) my aunt is a much bigger shopper than i am, so i spent alot of time tagging along with her. we also went the plaza de los mariachis, which is where mariachi music first got its start. it wasn't actually that exciting, mostly a bunch of mariachi singers hanging around waiting for someone to request a song. it looked more like a place where mariachi singers go to retire.

after guadalajara, we took a bus to puerto vallarta, on the pacific coast. it was my first time to see and swim in the pacific. really beautiful. puerto vallarta is pretty touristy, although we seemed to arrive just before the big tourist season. we stayed in a lovely little hotel a few blocks from the beach. things in puerto vallarta are much more expensive and the vendors are very aggressive. if you act interested in anything, they hound you "how much you want to pay, amiga?" "almost free for you". it's annoying. there are so many gringos in puerto vallarta who don't realize they are being taken by the expensive prices. my aunt and i like to think that we are not your typical tourists. her spanish is decent enough to be able to haggle with the vendors. she would sit at a table at a bar on the beach while i went swimming and she would shop. vendors with jewelry, toys, blankets, you name it wander up and down the beach offering their wares. i'm pretty sure my aunt discovered her new favorite way of shopping -- sitting on the beach and drinking margaritas while the merchandise came straight to her. she is the best haggler i've ever seen, and she practiced her spanish at the same time.

we also went up the coast a bit to sayulita -- really great place for surfing (i swam and didn't surf, but i was one of the few who wasn't surfing) and a little more secluded. we also saw a really beautiful sunset. sayulita was nice, but it was a little too upscale for me. i noticed that in puerto vallarta there were both american/canadian and mexican tourists, but in sayulita it seemed like it was strictly americans and canadians. the only mexicans i saw were working in the bars or selling stuff. it felt very "us and them".

we saw a really great free outdoor concert in puerto vallarta right by the water. it was a mexican opera singer named fernando de la mora. it was really beautiful and at the end, he gave a very impassioned speech about what a great country mexico is and how it is up to the people of mexico to change the corruption in the country. i was pretty impressed that even though i didn't understand everything, i did get the jist of what he said.

we returned to saltillo on thanksgiving day and my aunt stayed for another few days. we celebrated thanksgiving on saturday, since everyone here has to work on thanksgiving day. my family in mexico has been celebrating thanksgiving for years, as a result of the american side of the family, so we had turkey with all the trimmings. and after dinner, the guys sat around and watched futbol, as opposed to football. my aunt left the next day, and i was sad to see her go. it was so nice to have her here.

december in saltillo is interesting. we've had days of 36 degrees (fahrenheit; i'm still not accustomed to calculating in celsius yet), and then yesterday it was 80 degrees. i do like the warm weather, but it feels strange for it to be so warm around christmas.

the other big news is that all of my paperwork has finally been submitted to immigration after two months of waiting. i had to wait for the training from berlitz and then i had to wait for more paperwork from the company. i went down to immigration with my boss last week, but we didn't have all the right paperwork. we returned on monday of this week and were able to turn in all the proper paperwork. needless to say, this is a great relief for me. they lady at immigration said it might only take 10 days for my visa to come in. i seriously doubt that it will only be 10 days, but we'll see. in the meantime, i am more or less trapped in mexico. i can't leave the country until my visa comes in. they didn't take my passport, but they did take my tourist card, which i can't leave the country without. if my visa really does come in in the next 10 days, i may be able to go home for christmas, but if not, i'll be here for christmas. either way, i think i'm ok with it. i'd really like to see my family at christmas. i've never spent christmas away from them. but if i did have to stay here, i think i'd be ok. we put the christmas tree up yesterday and lots of other decorations around the house. my cousins love christmas.

i had another interview with a small catholic university this week, and i think they are interested in having me teach there as well. it looks like i could begin teaching in january. i am so anxious to begin work here.

well, i know this has been a long and long-overdue post. i'll try to do better about keeping up with this blog. and i hope everyone is having a great christmas season.

some pics

this is where i live.

here are a few pictures i took on my walk downtown. lots of typical mexican architecture and colors. the flowers are bougainvillea -- they are everywhere in saltillo and so beautiful.

saltillo cathedral -- 300ish years old






love the colors





beautiful bougainvillea blooming everywhere



this is the view from in front of the house
my neighborhood

waiting, driving, exploration and some thoughts on mexican culture

well, here i am -- back again. let's see. this last weekend, i went out a couple of times with my cousins. the club scene is not really my thing, but i gave it a try. we also had a little barbecue in the backyard on saturday, which is always fun. i went out with my cousin alberto in the evening and came back to find my other cousin charlie and about 12 of his friends just sitting around talking. eventually somebody pulled out a guitar and poof -- mexican singalong. i eventually went to bed, but i'm pretty sure those boys stayed out there all night. i woke up in the morning to boys lying around on various air mattresses.

sunday, i went back to the international church and the pastor's wife invited me over for lunch, so i was able to fellowship with other christians from the states (and one canadian), which was nice. i'm still not sure about the church. i'm curious to visit some spanish speaking churches. we'll see.

i started training this week. well, sort of. we still haven't officially begun training. the guy who is supposed to give the training is in guadalajara. he was supposed to be here monday of this week, but then he couldn't come until thursday. so for the last 3 days, we had a kind of pre-training with the director of the saltillo school (the guy who will be my boss). then today, we found out that he won't be coming until next week. monday is a holiday (dia de los muertos), so we will be starting training on tuesday. maybe. who knows? i am trying to adopt the mexican attitude that things will happen when they happen. it is difficult to discard the american mindset that things should happen according to a specific schedule. i think the sooner i can adopt this attitude, the better it will be for me in mexico. so we'll see. i do know the school is desperate for teachers and the director even told me that we could probably go ahead with the paperwork for my visa, which includes a pregnancy test to prove that i'm not pregnant. . .

this week, coco and roberto have gone up to texas to be with his mother (my great aunt beverly) while she has surgery. in the meantime, i have use of the truck. i have driven a little bit in mexico with coco, but yesterday was the first time i have driven in mexico alone. i was a little bit nervous, but i managed just fine. i drove to the school and back, and in the evening i drove to starbucks, which is just down the road. i managed to have a conversation in spanish with a boy who works there. i wasn't sure what time it closed, and it took me about 20 minutes to work up the courage to ask him and when i did, we had an entire 2 minute conversation. he asked me where i was from, how long i had been here and what i was doing here. and i managed to answer his questions without hesitation. i was quite proud of myself.

my cousins have told me that i need to try to think in spanish and to try not to translate literally. it's difficult to do both of those things, but the other day i found myself thinking of a caption for a picture in spanish! watching american tv with spanish subtitles is also helpful. at least a little bit.

having coco and roberto gone has actually been good for me. i've been forced to do some things for myself. things like driving and cooking. (ok i've only cooked once since they've been gone). the last couple of days i've been kind of lonely, missing dc and my friends. and i've spent alot of time at the house. i have felt a little paralyzed, not having a car and since i don't know the language (yet) and alot of the customs, i have been a little nervous about exploring. but today was a beautiful day and i finally forced myself to get out of the house. i started walking down the street thru our neighborhood and then i just kept going until i ended up in the old part of town. the architecture is definitely old mexico and i made it down the the saltillo cathedral. i had been here in august, but since moving here, i wasn't sure exactly where it was from the house, and now i am excited to know how to get there. going the other direction from the house is the very modern part of town, pretty similar to the states, so i was glad to find the old part of town. when i got there, i just sat down and watched some kids chasing pigeons. some girl taking a survey came up and asked me . . . something. knowing it would be fruitless, i told her that i only understood only a little bit of spanish. she hesitated and then smiled and said gracias. a guy on another bench started up a conversation with me and i did manage to talk to him a bit, but i didn't understand alot of what he said. i do think it's good for me to get out and force myself to speak spanish to people other than my cousins and even without them around. it forces me to try even if it's not that good. i can only get better from here, right? exploring the city and having a few conversations in spanish, short though they may be, has given me a bit more self-confidence about being here. i took some pictures on my walk and will try to post them a bit later. i almost got run over by cars about 3 different times on the way back. there aren't really crosswalks here. you just have to run across the street and try not to get hit. (i can guarantee you i will be getting an email from my grandmother as soon as she reads this.) ;)

i do think i have experienced some minor culture shock, mostly in the form of certain behaviors i see here. nothing that freaks me out, but things that surprise me. for example, the greetings here are kisses on the cheek between women and women and men, but never between two men. this doesn't bother me, but sometimes i forget that it's going to happen. and it's not just between people who know each other; it's when you first meet someone. that's what is always a bit weird to me. someone might show up at a party and they will go around and give everyone a little kiss on the cheek. i might not even get their name, but i will get a little kiss. and several times i've extended my hand to shake (as we do in the states) and suddenly someone is kissing my cheek. even the man who will be my boss at berlitz has done it to me, which actually really took me aback. for the states, that would be considered inappropriate and unprofessional, but here it's normal. and i just have to get used to it.

things are just more laid back here and my cousins think i'm a paranoid american. i put my seatbelt on in the back seat once and they were like, you don't have to do that here; this is mexico. i was like, but it's safer if you do, and i'm pretty sure they just rolled their eyes. i also saw a little boy lying across a board on the back of a pickup truck. i told my cousin charlie that in the states that would never be allowed and he was like, but here in mexico what can you do about it. i had an interesting conversation with my friend misty about this; she is living in nicaragua and has lived in several other countries. she made the point that americans feel so in control of everything and feel like we can change things, while people in other countries are used to not being in control so they just let things go as they are. i think this is an interesting subject. i love that in the united states if we see something that is wrong or dangerous, we take action. we do something to change it. it's a very american belief to feel like we can control our destiny. if something doesn't happen the way we think it should, we find out who to talk to to make it happen. and living in mexico i'm starting to understand that it doesn't really work the same way and people just accept that. it's more about survival here. that sounds so drastic. the part of mexico i am living in, the people are definitely doing more than surviving, but i think it's just kind of the mexican way. you just learn to deal with stuff the way it is. i've talked to several mexicans and i was kind of surprised to hear them say that they know mexico is corrupt and unsafe, etc., but they just learn how to live with it.

i got into an interesting conversation with my cousin charlie tonight -- subject of which shall remain vague; let's just say that it had to do with the roles of men and women. i strongly disagreed with his point of view and without being rude (i think), i told him so. at one point, i think he got mad at me and he said "you can't just come down here with your gringo ideas and expect to change everything; that's just the way it is!" and i guess he's sort of right. i can't try to change mexican society; i just have to learn how to live within it.

i do have to say, though, my cousin charlie is like having a little brother all over again. he's 21, and he loves to give me a hard time and vice versa. he likes to call me a gringa and make fun of me for being american. he's just lucky i'm a good sport. but he's also really sweet and serves as my translator whenever i need it (which is alot).