waiting, driving, exploration and some thoughts on mexican culture

well, here i am -- back again. let's see. this last weekend, i went out a couple of times with my cousins. the club scene is not really my thing, but i gave it a try. we also had a little barbecue in the backyard on saturday, which is always fun. i went out with my cousin alberto in the evening and came back to find my other cousin charlie and about 12 of his friends just sitting around talking. eventually somebody pulled out a guitar and poof -- mexican singalong. i eventually went to bed, but i'm pretty sure those boys stayed out there all night. i woke up in the morning to boys lying around on various air mattresses.

sunday, i went back to the international church and the pastor's wife invited me over for lunch, so i was able to fellowship with other christians from the states (and one canadian), which was nice. i'm still not sure about the church. i'm curious to visit some spanish speaking churches. we'll see.

i started training this week. well, sort of. we still haven't officially begun training. the guy who is supposed to give the training is in guadalajara. he was supposed to be here monday of this week, but then he couldn't come until thursday. so for the last 3 days, we had a kind of pre-training with the director of the saltillo school (the guy who will be my boss). then today, we found out that he won't be coming until next week. monday is a holiday (dia de los muertos), so we will be starting training on tuesday. maybe. who knows? i am trying to adopt the mexican attitude that things will happen when they happen. it is difficult to discard the american mindset that things should happen according to a specific schedule. i think the sooner i can adopt this attitude, the better it will be for me in mexico. so we'll see. i do know the school is desperate for teachers and the director even told me that we could probably go ahead with the paperwork for my visa, which includes a pregnancy test to prove that i'm not pregnant. . .

this week, coco and roberto have gone up to texas to be with his mother (my great aunt beverly) while she has surgery. in the meantime, i have use of the truck. i have driven a little bit in mexico with coco, but yesterday was the first time i have driven in mexico alone. i was a little bit nervous, but i managed just fine. i drove to the school and back, and in the evening i drove to starbucks, which is just down the road. i managed to have a conversation in spanish with a boy who works there. i wasn't sure what time it closed, and it took me about 20 minutes to work up the courage to ask him and when i did, we had an entire 2 minute conversation. he asked me where i was from, how long i had been here and what i was doing here. and i managed to answer his questions without hesitation. i was quite proud of myself.

my cousins have told me that i need to try to think in spanish and to try not to translate literally. it's difficult to do both of those things, but the other day i found myself thinking of a caption for a picture in spanish! watching american tv with spanish subtitles is also helpful. at least a little bit.

having coco and roberto gone has actually been good for me. i've been forced to do some things for myself. things like driving and cooking. (ok i've only cooked once since they've been gone). the last couple of days i've been kind of lonely, missing dc and my friends. and i've spent alot of time at the house. i have felt a little paralyzed, not having a car and since i don't know the language (yet) and alot of the customs, i have been a little nervous about exploring. but today was a beautiful day and i finally forced myself to get out of the house. i started walking down the street thru our neighborhood and then i just kept going until i ended up in the old part of town. the architecture is definitely old mexico and i made it down the the saltillo cathedral. i had been here in august, but since moving here, i wasn't sure exactly where it was from the house, and now i am excited to know how to get there. going the other direction from the house is the very modern part of town, pretty similar to the states, so i was glad to find the old part of town. when i got there, i just sat down and watched some kids chasing pigeons. some girl taking a survey came up and asked me . . . something. knowing it would be fruitless, i told her that i only understood only a little bit of spanish. she hesitated and then smiled and said gracias. a guy on another bench started up a conversation with me and i did manage to talk to him a bit, but i didn't understand alot of what he said. i do think it's good for me to get out and force myself to speak spanish to people other than my cousins and even without them around. it forces me to try even if it's not that good. i can only get better from here, right? exploring the city and having a few conversations in spanish, short though they may be, has given me a bit more self-confidence about being here. i took some pictures on my walk and will try to post them a bit later. i almost got run over by cars about 3 different times on the way back. there aren't really crosswalks here. you just have to run across the street and try not to get hit. (i can guarantee you i will be getting an email from my grandmother as soon as she reads this.) ;)

i do think i have experienced some minor culture shock, mostly in the form of certain behaviors i see here. nothing that freaks me out, but things that surprise me. for example, the greetings here are kisses on the cheek between women and women and men, but never between two men. this doesn't bother me, but sometimes i forget that it's going to happen. and it's not just between people who know each other; it's when you first meet someone. that's what is always a bit weird to me. someone might show up at a party and they will go around and give everyone a little kiss on the cheek. i might not even get their name, but i will get a little kiss. and several times i've extended my hand to shake (as we do in the states) and suddenly someone is kissing my cheek. even the man who will be my boss at berlitz has done it to me, which actually really took me aback. for the states, that would be considered inappropriate and unprofessional, but here it's normal. and i just have to get used to it.

things are just more laid back here and my cousins think i'm a paranoid american. i put my seatbelt on in the back seat once and they were like, you don't have to do that here; this is mexico. i was like, but it's safer if you do, and i'm pretty sure they just rolled their eyes. i also saw a little boy lying across a board on the back of a pickup truck. i told my cousin charlie that in the states that would never be allowed and he was like, but here in mexico what can you do about it. i had an interesting conversation with my friend misty about this; she is living in nicaragua and has lived in several other countries. she made the point that americans feel so in control of everything and feel like we can change things, while people in other countries are used to not being in control so they just let things go as they are. i think this is an interesting subject. i love that in the united states if we see something that is wrong or dangerous, we take action. we do something to change it. it's a very american belief to feel like we can control our destiny. if something doesn't happen the way we think it should, we find out who to talk to to make it happen. and living in mexico i'm starting to understand that it doesn't really work the same way and people just accept that. it's more about survival here. that sounds so drastic. the part of mexico i am living in, the people are definitely doing more than surviving, but i think it's just kind of the mexican way. you just learn to deal with stuff the way it is. i've talked to several mexicans and i was kind of surprised to hear them say that they know mexico is corrupt and unsafe, etc., but they just learn how to live with it.

i got into an interesting conversation with my cousin charlie tonight -- subject of which shall remain vague; let's just say that it had to do with the roles of men and women. i strongly disagreed with his point of view and without being rude (i think), i told him so. at one point, i think he got mad at me and he said "you can't just come down here with your gringo ideas and expect to change everything; that's just the way it is!" and i guess he's sort of right. i can't try to change mexican society; i just have to learn how to live within it.

i do have to say, though, my cousin charlie is like having a little brother all over again. he's 21, and he loves to give me a hard time and vice versa. he likes to call me a gringa and make fun of me for being american. he's just lucky i'm a good sport. but he's also really sweet and serves as my translator whenever i need it (which is alot).